Insomnia

It's well past midnight, and I've been lying in bed since 10:30 without sleeping for a second. I've drifted into almost-sleep, ventured just far enough into surreality to see, through closed eyes in the dark, beams of light streaming from my outstretched fingertips, creative energy straining to be free of the bogged-down-in-work-ness that has been the overarching theme of these past weeks and months. I did eat far too many Christmas cookies before going to bed, but it's more than simple chocolate caffeine bursting around in this brain of mine. It's all the music I want to play, the stories I want to tell, the languages I want to speak, the passion I want to teach, the miles I want to walk, the people I want to love. All of it, all of this light and color, is shooting through me, trying to find its way out, not letting me sleep, more inspired than tired, too impatient to wait for morning. The brilliance of lightning fades all too quickly in sunlight.